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Crush Your Inner Critic and Build Self-Trust

authenticity emotional health people pleasing self-improvement self-worth Aug 29, 2024
inner critic

Do you ever find yourself doubting your decisions, second-guessing your abilities, or feeling like you just aren’t good enough? Many people struggle with self-trust, and a powerful inner critic often lies at the root of this struggle. Rather than helping you improve, this internal voice can undermine your confidence and leave you feeling insecure. 

So, how do you break free from this cycle? The first step is understanding why you don’t trust yourself and how your inner critic influences you.

Why Don’t You Trust Yourself?

Self-doubt often feels like an unwelcome companion, but understanding where it comes from can help you address it more effectively. Here are some key reasons why many of us struggle with trusting ourselves:

  1. Past Experiences: Reflect on your childhood and early experiences. Were there moments when you were criticized or told you weren’t good enough? These experiences can deeply affect how you view yourself and your abilities. For example, a child frequently criticized by a parent may grow up questioning their every decision, fearing that they always fall short.
  2. Perfectionism: If you set unrealistically high standards for yourself, you’re likely setting yourself up for disappointment. Perfectionism can create a constant sense of inadequacy, making it difficult to trust your own judgment. Think of the student who believes they must get straight A’s to be worthy of success, only to feel like a failure after receiving a B.
  3. Comparison to Others: In our social media-driven world, comparing ourselves to others is almost inevitable. Seeing others’ curated highlights can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. For instance, scrolling through your feed and seeing friends achieving milestones while you feel stuck can intensify the belief that you’re not doing enough.
  4. Fear of Failure: The fear of making mistakes can be paralyzing. When past failures have been met with harsh criticism or negative consequences, it’s natural to develop a fear of repeating those mistakes. For example, if you’ve faced ridicule for a failed project in the past, you might hesitate to take on new challenges, fearing the same outcome.

Self-Doubt and Your Inner Critic

Your inner critic is like a loud, negative voice in your head that tells you you're not good enough. It always points out your flaws and reminds you of your mistakes. This voice often says things like, "You’ll never succeed" or "You’re not smart enough."

I believe for most people the original purpose of the inner critic was to keep you safe from feeling left out or not being loved. It thought that if it could fix what's wrong with you or remind you not to do things that other people don't like, then you'd belong, you'd be enough, and you'd feel loved. 

But the end result of the inner critic is the opposite of its original intent. That's because by pointing out your "flaws" or what you did wrong it doesn’t just make you feel bad, it also cuts you off from others and prevents you from reaching your goals. Listening to this voice might make you doubt yourself, avoid new opportunities, or feel stuck. It can also make you anxious, lower your confidence, and impact your feelings.

Where Does the Inner Critic Come From? The inner critic often starts from experiences in the past, like being criticized by others or facing repeated failures. If you were told you weren’t good enough or made mistakes, you might have learned to criticize yourself similarly.

Letting your inner critic take over can prevent you from trying new things or achieving your goals. It can make you feel unworthy and prevent you from feeling happy and confident.

How to Challenge and Change the Inner Critic?

Understanding and tackling your inner critic is key to building self-trust and confidence. Watch my latest video to learn practical strategies for challenging and changing this negative voice and building self-confidence.

Watch the video and take the next step towards a more confident, self-assured you!

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