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Authentic Connections, Boundaries, and Relationships

Are You In a Blame Game? effective communication emotional health healthy relationships Feb 29, 2024

I’ve been thinking a lot about blame recently. 

I have a client who fights with his wife A LOT. And, neither one of them seems to be able to stop the fights.

I’ve pointed out to him that he blames her for nearly everything he’s feeling.

If she doesn’t like something...

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How do I set boundaries around my partner's boundaries? people-pleasers perspective relationship advice self-improvement Nov 10, 2023

Dear Dr. Julie: My husband of 43 yrs has worked most of our marriage away from home: here for 2 weeks and gone for 2-3 months. I pretty much raised our 3 children alone. He retired in 2018 and has gone from being away from home most of the time to being home almost ALL the time. Has...

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How to Tell if You Are Being Selfish effective communication people pleasing people-pleasers self-improvement Nov 03, 2023

What scares you? Does being thought of as selfish scare you?

Let's talk about selfishness--what it is and how to tell if you are being selfish. It’s a concern I frequently hear from my clients.

The difficulty with figuring out this question is that it is not an either or proposition....

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Why Am I So Bothered by Other People's Emotions? ama ask me anything effective communication people pleasing perspective Sep 05, 2023

Dear Dr. Julie: My husband is throwing his anxiety on me. How do I change this? Thank you!!

--Anxious Annie

Dear Anxious Annie: This is one of my most frequent questions. People really struggle around how not to be so affected by other people's emotions.

When our partners, friends, or...

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Why Do People Become People Pleasers? healthy relationships life lessons people pleasing self-improvement Aug 31, 2023

Many of us have been taught from a young age that being kind and considerate towards others is a virtue. While this is undoubtedly true, some people take this to an extreme and become people pleasers.

A people pleaser is someone who prioritizes the needs and desires of others above their own,...

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One Easy Step to Better Relationships ama ask me anything effective communication relationship advice relationships self-improvement Aug 23, 2023

If you've been in a relationship for a while, have you ever wondered whether there is a better relationship partner out there for you? Or, if you are single, have you ever wondered whether there is a Mr. or Mrs. Right out there for you?

What do you think would make someone right for you?...

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When you buy products or services through links on my site or in my emails, I may earn a small affiliate commission. However, I only recommend products that I would use for myself and those I care about.Ā Ā All videos, articles, and statements made by me (Dr. Julie Shafer) and/or published by me anywhere online are for information and educational purposes only. Because everyoneā€™s situation is different, please consult the appropriate professional before taking action based on information from this site or other publications by Dr. Julie Shafer. Reliance on information contained on my site, emails, or other platforms (e.g., FaceBook, YouTube, Medium, etc.) is solely at your own risk.